counting down...

Today I started my second round of my surgical prep. I was so excited; this was my last bottle of magnesium citrate. There is the exception that I may have to clean out again if the surgery isn't successful but I'll deal with that when I have to. Anyway, it was my LAST bottle of magnesium citrate (YAY!). I paced myself and got through the bottle seemly quicker than usually. I suppose the motivation came from knowing I was "ultimately" finished with the nasty stuff. I got it all down and darn it I gagged and up it came! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?! I am finished with this stuff and now I am going to have to drink the amount that I just threw up. Wonderful... no, not really. Instead, I went for a walk with my grandmother to get what I had consumed down and moving in my GI system. I learned a long time ago that if I walk after I drink, it gets things moving much quicker and efficiently. When I got back home I carefully drank the amount I needed and prayed that I wouldn't throw up more. Who in this world would want to more? It never fails, whenever I need to throw up something, I can't. However when I don't need to, like in this instance, I do. Ultimately, the goal was accomplished. I am finished with magnesium citrate!

With Tuesday approaching and my clean outs taking their toll on me, I am getting weaker. Wednesday clean out left me feeling like I usually do - tired and weak. It kept me up until three Thursday morning. I woke up later that morning and as soon as I got up, I blacked out. It left me wondering how the day would go considering how the morning started but I mostly felt weak. My legs would just tremble as I stood or I would have that constant jello feeling. It was either one or the other but it was a good day.

I started my second clean out today and I was told to rest by my parents. I had to switch from a liquid diet to a clear liquid diet, you know the "clear liquid diet like you're having a colonoscopy diet." This diet will be my undoing before it is over with. I always struggle with this diet. I get so cold, hungry - probably because I know I can't have anything and just weak from this diet. Since Wednesday, I have consumed a box of those Edy's Frozen Fruit Bars (I love them!). Today I had to switch over to plain jane popsicles. There is no comparison between a coconut frozen fruit bar and a banana flavored popsicle... nothing! I'm just stating the facts. I have to live on this diet for who knows how long so I'll get to try all the flavors I'm sure. One of the healthy things I'd like to do after surgery is give up soft drinks with the exceptions of regular Coke when I'm really nauseous. You know how everybody has their drink? Well I'm a Dr. Pepper drinker, day or drink. I could drink Dr. Pepper twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week and never get tired of it but DO NOT get me a two liter, I only like cans or twenty ounce or below size bottles. The drink loses its kick if it's in a two liter bottle.

Sunday I start the finale; Golytely, a gallon of salt water basically. My plan, (ha, ha - the key words being "my plan") is to have everything somewhat ready by Sunday morning so I can just focus on the clean out. I am a very organized person, I'm all about the details. If I can get everything somewhat ready, I will be able to relax and not over do it Sunday or Monday and be able to rest. Knowing how weak feeling I am now and how weak I will be by Monday, I'm not going to be up to my usual speed.

I've been thinking how it has been such a long process; emergency room visits, missed work days, doctor appointments, tests, surgeon appointments, phone calls with doctors, a biopsy and it will all be over with soon. I am so excited and happy. Life can eventually move on. I will still have gastroparesis no doubt and I can move forward. It all makes me happy.