Thursday, April 22, 2010

keeping up...

I am at that age where people who within my age bracket are either getting married, having children or moving on with their careers (i.e. grad school or better career choices). I am not able to do any of that at the moment and it kills me!! You know that saying two steps forward and one step back, in my life currently it is one step forward and two steps back. I can not seem to get ahead. I am too occupied in my life trying to keep my lunch in, keep my job at the current position (forget job advancements) and have as much as a “normal” daily life as possible. I have heard of GP being an invisible disease and boy isn’t that true. I may look fine on the outside but see me at home or after something has made me sick, it shows.
I made a dumb mistake today and ate ten M&M’s. The pain has not left yet. I don’t understand GP sometimes. My friends are busy with general life and I am trying to keep up with stuff that should “function” normally… like my GI tract. I am having a pity party. I am continually hearing “When are you getting married?” Well honestly, I would like to be able to eat my wedding cake and not spend my honeymoon in the bathroom!! I want to feel good physically when I get married. This is the part of having GP that kills me. I don’t want to compete with my friends, I just feel like we live in two different worlds. Thank goodness Jacob is patient and accepting. I could not do this without him.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

my night with gastroparesis..........................

I got to experience my first night with Gastroparesis. I have heard of these from fellow GP friends and how bad they can be but I have never experienced them. My GP has recently been sending me to bed at night with my new best friend, the heating pad and waking me up during night with abdominal pain. I am a serious sleeper. I can sleep through anything so for me to wake up, it’s intense.
I took all of my meds Sunday night and went to bed as usual. I woke up around midnight to really bad abdominal pain. It was not the kind of abdominal pain that would send you to the bathroom. I talked myself into laying there for a while thinking I would fall back asleep and sleep through the pain. Yeah… right. I caved in about twelve thirty. I took some medication for the pain. By one thirty, I had listened to all the music I could take. The medication wasn’t working. I figured getting up and moving around might help with the pain. I decided that I would take my “back up” Bentyl liquid medication because I was desperate. I take the Bentyl sparingly due to previous issues with Bentyl and bladder retention. Catheterizing yourself is NO fun. When I got up, oh my gosh, I have never felt that kind of pain before. It was so awkward. I don’t want to feel pain like that again. It was like someone grabbed my stomach and back at the same time and squeezed them.
I moved to the couch and watch tv and I am impressed with late night tv. I am never up at those hours of the night. I laid back down around three fifteen after taking my last dose of the DAY of Librax. I worked in a pharmacy and I know you’re supposed to follow the directions. I didn’t follow the directions and I don’t care. I remember when I took those last two capsules and thinking that I am done for the day with my Librax. It was three fifteen in the MORNING!!!!
I fell asleep a little before four. I didn’t sleep to well. I kept waking up and I finally got up around eight to go to work. I called in to tell them I’d be in later in the morning. I’ve slept better since, thank goodness. I’m still using the heating pad. Who ever created the heating pad has helped numerous people, me being one of them. I am going to try out the Thermacare Heat Patches during my painful days at work. I have beginning to notice more abdominal pain in the day. Hopefully that was my only GP influenced night for a while.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Trump International

I recently celebrated my twenty-third birthday. The past month has been an up and down rollercoaster of not being able to eat, liquid diets and living in the bathroom. In lieu of celebrating, my mom and I went to New York City for a mother daughter trip. It was wonderful! I had been concerned about finding foods in Manhattan that would agree with my stomach since G2 Gatorade and Jell-O could make me sick. Luckily things calmed down the week of our trip. I was able to keep a good portion of what I ate in. I did however pack back up food just in case.
When we arrived in Manhattan our room wasn’t ready so we had our luggage held and we decided to go find something to eat. We started walking down the street and I would look at the restaurants and nothing screamed “Gastroparesis Friendly”. I checked a menu outside one of the restaurants and I did find pasta but I wasn’t ready for such a heavy meal. When I eat pasta, Jacob’s family teases me because I eat naked noodles, no sauce. If I eat sauce, I eat two to three spoonfuls max.
We finally find a restaurant on Central Park West at the Trump International Hotel and Tower. It was gorgeous. We walked in and asked the hostess if they served baked potatoes on their menu due to my limited diet. She explained that they did not but if we would step into the hotel, the concierge may be able to help us. While waiting in line for the concierge, this man walks up to us in this nicely tailored suite. He introduces himself and asks if he can help us. We tell him that we are looking for a restaurant that serves baked potatoes or rice. After explaining my limited diet he laughed and said that he could not eat baked potatoes because he gained weight. That made me feel better, it lighten the mood. For crying out loud, I was in Manhattan and I was looking for a baked potato! Out of all the wonderful foods there, a freaking baked potato. He called three places for me. I was shocked. This man was the head of guest relations of the Trump International. He found me a baked potato at the Porter House Restaurant at the Time Warner Building. They stopped serving lunch in a half hour but he told them he had two guests he was sending over. How wonderful was that! I could brag on this man all day.
When we got to the Porter House Restaurant, I got my baked potato. It was defiantly an odd feeling ordering just a baked potato in such an upscale restaurant. I looked pretty rough. I’d been up since five in the morning with the whole airport experience to boot. I was wearing my Northface fleece coat, athletic pants, Nike shocks and I carrying my carry on bag. I had all my meds, music, magazines, food and my purse in that carry on bag. I was a sight when these other people are dressed, in heels and their make up is fresh. I suppose that is part of the traveling experience, especially with Gastroparesis and I love it!