Monday, March 8, 2010

not what i signed up for...

This is hard. I am twenty-two years old soon to be twenty-three and I am exhausted. I know there are people with my condition who much worse than I am, I get that. I am not looking for a cure. I just want to be able to sit down and eat a meal with Jacob and not feel like crap by the time we home. This meal would not consist of rice or “naked noodles”. I am getting tired of rice and baked potatoes. I eat four things; rice, baked potatoes, noodles and bread. I was eating oatmeal last week but that didn’t work out to well.

I went grocery shopping Friday and that was almost depressing. It use to not bother me but this time it was a constant reminder through the store. “Jennifer, you have Gastroparesis and you can not eat the majority of the food in this store.” It was horrible. I spent thirty-five dollars on carbs and G2 Gatorade.

I feel like I am waiting on life. My Domperidone hasn’t arrived and I want to start the medication. If the medication doesn’t work I will be out of medication options and the pacemaker will be my next medical option. I want the pacemaker even though there is only a fifty percent chance of it helping me. I really have weighed my options and I’m ready to take that chance. For example, the past two days I have lost my breakfast within a half an hour of eating it. I feel like crap after that.

Another thing that really… annoys me (I’m trying to be as polite as I can be at the moment) is when people say “I’m so sick of eating vegetables.” I could reach through the phone over that. I eat peas but they are a starch. One that gets me even better is when I hear “I’m sick of eating.” Are you kidding me? Nothing is wrong with their GI tract!! This past year, I have on three liquid diet periods. I know people who are on liquids 24/7. People take eating for advantage.

I’m just frustrated and I’m having a pity party. Tomorrow will be better.


  1. I'm having a pity party this evening, but I'm glad I did because it made me search for others. I just started my blog to be able to deal with it and this particular entry of yours really nailed it home for me. Yes, yes, and yes. I almost strangle my co-worker on a daily basis when she brings in delicious food and eats it in front of me.

    So, yeah, it's nice to "meet" you and thank you for writing. :)

    p.s. I too have an art degree and work for a non-profit. hehe.

  2. Hi J.,

    Sorry I am late replying. I hope you are doing well. I agree with you. I would love to strangle some of my co-workers for what type food they bring in. One of them asked me last week while I was on a liquid diet if I wanted some chicken. Come on!!